Retired railwayman Andy Uttley reflects back on a couple of humorous stories from his 40 years working on the railways. One of the more serious hazards on the railway can be large animals like cattle or deer and it’s important to locate any animals which may have strayed onto the line through a damaged fence and safely remove them as soon as possible. Early in Andy’s career the proximity of the railway line to an animal rescue centre provided an irresistible opportunity for the perfect hoax to play on new trainee mobile operations managers. In another story Andy remembers the fears of working the night shift in the old Victorian signal boxes.